Dumb and Dumber…and then there’s me

Today, a reading from the Holy Gospel of Stupidity 3:17. I wish I could blame my tale on altitude, or dehydration. I like to think we all have moments when we look in the mirror and say, “If I were any dumber, they’d shoot me.” If you’re one of the lucky ones who’s never had an episode like this, I applaud you. Be forewarned, when you leave the room, I’m going to mutter ‘liar’ under my breath. This excerpt is from my 2010 trip. At this point, with my Mt. Whitney trip five weeks away, I’m still in training mode and I’ve driven to Yosemite Valley to hike Upper Yosemite Falls. From the valley floor it’s 3.6 miles to the top with elevation gain of 2700′.

“Mommy!, I just got winged by a Nikon”


                                                      June 24, 2010, Upper Yosemite Falls

During yesterday’s hike, I took some spectacular images, and when I got to the top, in keeping with earlier ‘questionable’ decisions, I gave some bystanders and myself a thrill that assuredly cemented my induction into the Idiot Hall of Fame.  Along a viewing platform cut into a granite wall at the top, there’s a railing to keep hikers and morons safe from the 2,000+’ drop. On the other side of the rail there’s about an 8 to 10 foot shelf before the drop. From behind this rail I was able to catch a glimpse of the water cascading to the valley floor. Dissatisfied with my photos, and convinced I could get a better angle if I crawled out a few more feet onto the ledge, I decided to duck under the rail with my camera. In my enthusiasm, as I took off my pack and hat, the camera strap became tangled, came over my head unexpectedly and fell forward onto the ledge. Because of a lucky bounce or backspin, the camera stopped about three feet short of the precipice. The looks on the faces of those who witnessed it spoke volumes. They looked at me as though I was the stupidest person on the planet and I was in no position to argue[1].

[1] I looked up synonyms for the word ‘idiot’ on my iMac Dictionary application and as I read through them, every one of them would be apt descriptions of the camera episode: fool, ass, halfwit, dunce, dolt, ignoramus, cretin, moron, imbecile, simpleton, dope, ninny, nincompoop, chump, dimwit, dumbo, dummy, dum-dum, loon, dork, sap, jackass, blockhead, jughead, bonehead, knucklehead, fathead, numbskull, numbnuts, dumb-ass, doofus, clod, dunderhead, ditz, lummox, dipstick, thickhead, meathead, meatball, woodenhead, airhead, pinhead, lamebrain, peabrain, birdbrain, jerk, nerd, donkey, nitwit, twit, boob, twerp, schmuck, bozo, turkey, chowderhead, dingbat

Was it worth it?


About victorvolta

I am a freelance photographer/writer based in the San Francisco Bay Area. I grew up in the very suburban city of Santa Clara. Education: San Jose State University (class of '84) BA degree in Journalism with concentrations in Photojournalism and English. Favorite Foods: Ribeye steaks and Stan's Doughnuts (separate plates, usually). Favorite Drinks: Strong gourmet coffee and Trader Joe's Blood Orange Italian Soda (separate cups).
This entry was posted in Book VI Excerpt - 2010, Local Hikes, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Dumb and Dumber…and then there’s me

  1. Jack Elliott says:

    Not that there is a blog post, friend! Excellent photos and text.

  2. Jack Elliott says:

    Typo. . .I meant, “Now that there. . .”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s