What’s the Klingon word for ‘Rollaway Bed’?

 I am a Star Trek dork. As they say in rehab, admitting it is the first step to recovery. I swear that even though I am a bit of a Trekkie, I have never been to a Star Trek convention, nor have I dressed as a Vulcan, Klingon, Romulan, Cardassian, or a Borg for Hallowe’en or in the privacy of my own home. I don’t even have a poster of Jeri Ryan or Uhura.

Another excerpt from Book IV of ‘The Mount Whitney Journals’. Rich, Phil and I are now off the mountain and are in the desert town of Lone Pine. The three of us are dirty, hungry and exhausted.

Wildflowers and Lichens along the Mt. Whitney Trail

THE MOUNT WHITNEY JOURNALS – Book IV – 2007                                                   August 13, 2007,  10:00 p.m.,  Lone Pine, CA

Foremost in our minds as we approach town is lodging, a shower, and food. It’s almost 10:00 by the time we pull into the Best Western driveway and I’m praying they haven’t given away our room. With no way to call from the mountain, there was no way to let them know we’d be checking in this late. As I waited for Phil at the trailhead, along with all of the negative thoughts orbiting my head regarding Phil, I also envisioned the three of us having to sleep in the truck on a Lone Pine side street or gas station parking lot.

Again my worries are wasted energy. The receptionist greets us with a Disney-like cheerfulness and says she’s been holding the room for us. Apparently, late check-ins like this are a daily occurrence. I let out another, “Thank God!” With all my prayer and praising of The Almighty over the last hour, one would think that I’m on the verge of some evangelical breakthrough. One would be wrong.

Minutes later we are in our room trying to decide who gets to shower first and who has to sleep on the rollaway bed. The choice for the rollaway comes down to Phil and I, and we both argue why the other is more deserving of the real bed. I consider using the “I’m the older brother and I speak for the family” argument. I heard Lieutenant Worf use it effectively on Star Trek: The Next Generation to end a dispute with his brother Kurn regarding a matter of honor before the Klingon High Council. I decide against using it for something as trivial as a rollaway bed. Phil argues that because I’m old, the most discouraged, have had a bad back, and organized the trip, he should be on the rollaway and I should be on the bed. Spock would convulse at the ill-conceived logic. I just raise my right eyebrow quizzically and relent, resigned to suffer the guilt of the more comfortable bed.


About victorvolta

I am a freelance photographer/writer based in the San Francisco Bay Area. I grew up in the very suburban city of Santa Clara. Education: San Jose State University (class of '84) BA degree in Journalism with concentrations in Photojournalism and English. Favorite Foods: Ribeye steaks and Stan's Doughnuts (separate plates, usually). Favorite Drinks: Strong gourmet coffee and Trader Joe's Blood Orange Italian Soda (separate cups).
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One Response to What’s the Klingon word for ‘Rollaway Bed’?

  1. I love Star Trek but only The Next Generation. For some reason I cannot stand the original series.
    Must have been a different receptionist at the Best Western. The one I encountered last year was a sour b****. OK, maybe she was sleepy. But then when I checked in another time, I encountered the most pleasant and funny couple minding the front desk.
    You two should have fought for the lesser bed privilege. That would be more in Klingon fashion. 🙂

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